No amount of furious scrubbing from the little yellow napkins enclosed in my to-go bag could entirely remove the pinkish stain, and I was forced to suffer the embarrasment of a messy eater all through English class.
Fortunately my girlfriend had enough brains for the both of us this day, and took me to the mall to get a new shirt: a kindergarden green affair which I pulled on over top of my shame-rag. A clean look at last! Thus, I was able to endure precalculus without the discerning eye of my peers being cast upon me in the way that says, "You, sir, are frankly a slob. Please don a garment of appropriate cleanliness if you wish my approval. Good day to you sir!"
And so concludes my tale; a tale of cheeseburgers and betrayal, romance and redemption. I hope you have enjoyed it, and I hope you will take with you a knowledge of the dangers of cheeseburgers. Because knowing is half the battle.