Attack of the Cheeseburger: A Cautionary Tale

Today as I was driving to class, I was simultaneously chowing down on a Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburger. While concentrating on the road in between bites of the delicious meaty wonder, I was suprised to find that someone had added a large quantity of ketchup to the interior of this prince of foods. Therefore, as I took a bite I was ordained to the order of the slob, as a cascade of condiment careened through the air and onto the clean canvas of my white T-shirt.

No amount of furious scrubbing from the little yellow napkins enclosed in my to-go bag could entirely remove the pinkish stain, and I was forced to suffer the embarrasment of a messy eater all through English class.

Fortunately my girlfriend had enough brains for the both of us this day, and took me to the mall to get a new shirt: a kindergarden green affair which I pulled on over top of my shame-rag. A clean look at last! Thus, I was able to endure precalculus without the discerning eye of my peers being cast upon me in the way that says, "You, sir, are frankly a slob. Please don a garment of appropriate cleanliness if you wish my approval. Good day to you sir!"

And so concludes my tale; a tale of cheeseburgers and betrayal, romance and redemption. I hope you have enjoyed it, and I hope you will take with you a knowledge of the dangers of cheeseburgers. Because knowing is half the battle.
Good night.


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